Originally published in Couples in Addiction Recovery on April 23, 2011 (www.bobnavarra.wordpress.com)

Rekindling Shared Happiness

Margaret and James once thrived on each other’s presence, particularly during their evening drinking rituals. Their daily routine involved returning home from work at the same time to kick off what thay called “happy hour.” For many couples struggling with alcohol dependency, this joyful period often spirals into conflict as alcohol impacts mood and judgment, leading to what could be described as “unhappy hour.” However, for Margaret and James, these moments were typically filled with laughter and engaging conversations. They cherished this bonding time that could last for hours. Unfortunately, their post-dinner activities were less fulfilling; they often found themselves dozing off while watching television. Moreover, drinking brought it’s own set of challenges—Margaret faced health issues while James dealt with escalating stress from work that resulted in negative performance reviews.

In an unexpected twist of fate, both Margaret and James decided to quit drinking together and embarked on a shared recovery journey. They began attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and eventually found sponsors for additional support. To their surprise, they experienced a decline in relationship satisfaction after stopping alcohol consumption.With eight months of sobriety under his belt compared to ten months for Margaret,James voiced his frustration: “Recovery feels like it’s draining all the joy out of life! Shouldn’t our relationship be getting better? Why aren’t we having more fun?” Margaret nodded thoughtfully—this is a common concern many couples encounter during the early stages of recovery.

Establishing New Enjoyable Routines

The effort to recreate their happy hour without alcohol was met with challenges due to lingering memories associated with past drinking habits. Both needed direction on how to enjoy each other’s company without relying on substances. Coming from families where alcohol was central at gatherings made it even more difficult; neither had role models demonstrating how socializing could occur without drinks being involved.

During therapy sessions aimed at rebuilding connections through new activities devoid of alcohol consumption, both expressed interest in exploring yoga—a pursuit long postponed due to previous commitments involving promises tied to drinking like “next time.” Now free from those constraints,they enrolled together in a yoga class which not only benefited them physically but also broadened their social network by connecting them with classmates who organized gatherings outside class hours.